


peace + happiness

by JuniorWoofles



Series: This Feels Like Goodbye [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Advent Calendar Drabble, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Christmas Fluff, Dean Winchester Deserves to be Happy, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fix-It, Ignores s15e20 Carry On, Love Confessions, M/M, One Big Happy Family, POV Alternating, Post-Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27817777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuniorWoofles/pseuds/JuniorWoofles
Summary: Dean drove, away from the supposed happy ending. Jack wasn’t the only one with work to do.Or, Dean Winchester deserves happiness and he will do anything to bring his happiness back to him.A Christmas drabble collection/post s15e19 fix it
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Series: This Feels Like Goodbye [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004316
Comments: 19
Kudos: 36





	1. Mission

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a happy drabble series in the lead up to Christmas and I also wanted to write fix it fic. This ended up being both. It starts somewhere after episode 19 'Inherit the Earth' and ignores 'Carry On' in its entirety, so just pretend that none of that ever happened.  
> All chapters are perfect drabbles and I promise it doesn't stay angsty forever, because Dean Winchester deserves happiness (I mean they all do) and I will make sure he gets it.

After, there were people in the streets again. After, there was life on Earth again. After, there was peace on Earth. 

There was a new God. One who would be reluctant to take up the name even if he had inherited the power. He was willing to do what had to be done, to do things right this time. He left with a wave and a smile to his family. One day he'd be back, but until then he had work to do. 

Dean drove, away from the supposed happy ending. Jack wasn’t the only one with work to do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is all written so I'm excited to finally post my fix it fic, even if its less fix it and more ~things are magically better now~


	2. Emptiness

The Empty was still awake. She was restless, waiting to know she could go back to sleep and never wake again. 

Death was gone, withered away to nothing under the Empty’s vengeful watch.

There was darkness, no answers beyond the endless nothing, no light, no hope. 

The angel died. He died happy, knowing that he was serving the very purpose he had always been made for. Dean would survive, escape from Death. The angel believed in him, a silent prayer to keep Dean safe as he faced the last chapter. Cas only regretted that he couldn’t be there for him. 


	3. Research

The Men of Letters had an impressive number of books in their library. They filled room after room with texts, every language known to man and many more that weren’t. There were ancient books in dead languages, texts in Enochian, old scriptures, old spellbooks. 

None of them held answers. 

He read every book that might seem even vaguely helpful. When those came up short Dean turned to the ones that didn’t seem helpful. What was the point in a library that didn’t hold answers? 

The less he found, the more frustrated he got, and the more he started to drink. 


	4. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, using Castiel as a vessel to vent about how frustrating the finale was? Of course it is

The thought did cross his mind. As painful as the thought was, it felt inevitable considering his own state that he would eventually begin to think of Dean’s death. 

If he were alive to feel the sensation he would feel sick. 

There was nothing he could do. There would be no grace to heal him, no being there to watch his back, no way to protect him from every possible danger that could befall him. 

It wasn’t just Dean’s death that scared Cas. It was the fear of what came next. He just hoped he’d done enough to fix Heaven. 


	5. Despair

Bottles piled up all around him. They were littering whatever flat space wasn’t already occupied with books; which lay open on random pages, sticky notes and bookmarks marking anything that could provide the solution. 

Dean was asleep on the floor, a bottle of whisky rolling on the floor beside him. Sam came over and threw a blanket over his shoulders, before he began to tidy up, quietly moving the many bottles. Eileen crept over, reading pages here and there before she pointed to Dean’s laptop. 

Sam looked at the screensaver and wondered if it had been changed before or _after._


	6. In the being

Death was a long endless time to reflect on your life and all that you had achieved within it. You could look through all the moments, spend all your time obsessing over every year, every day, every moment. 

All he had was time. 

All he had were memories. 

It began with piercing a soul together, cradling the precious thing in his hands and building it back up from nothing, knitting the atoms back together. Then there was a light blown in a barn and a knife in his chest. It began from there, the seeds already planted, ready to grow. 


	7. Prayers

Eileen prayed, her lips barely moving along as she whispered them, screaming them over and over. It wasn’t fair that she got to live to watch this. 

Sam prayed, a hopeless daily check in, letting Jack know they were still proud of him and that Dean would be okay eventually. They weren’t going to hold it against him if there was nothing he could do. 

Dean prayed to Jack, in the beginning. When nothing happened he stopped. Instead, he drank too much, cried too hard and he prayed to his angel instead; regrets and admissions tied up in endless apologies. 


	8. Quiet

Once, Cas was able to read minds. He’d stopped after being told to, learning that personal space was more than just standing too near to someone. Humans didn’t like having their thoughts known. 

He grew to learn what Dean’s thoughts were from the way they collected in his expression. He saw emotion in his face and studied it. For the most part, it was all he got. 

But sometimes, sometimes Dean let all the emotion out. He’d pray and he’d beg, looking for help, looking for answers, looking for someone else to blame. In the silence, Cas missed it all. 


	9. Intervention

It was a normal day. Dean was doing better. He still studied obsessively, but he stopped drinking as heavily. They found the dog again and they’d pretended not to notice how Dean cried. 

He came on hunts, he fed his dog, he picked up the toast when it was far too hot. 

He pretended he was happy. 

Sam and Eileen knew better. But they had to wait. 

The waiting ended. A normal day and Jack showed up, the same hand gesture for hello and the same smile on his face when he’d done something to make him proud of him. 


	10. Disturbance

Something wasn’t right. If Dean had been here he would have said it was a disturbance in the Force. Thinking of Dean made the endless nothing feel more manageable. Dean was always the light at the end of the tunnel. 

He was summoned, the entity wearing Meg’s face glaring at him, as if she remembered how he’d annoyed her into freeing him last time. 

“Well, lover boy, this has been a fun reunion but I want to sleep now.”

Cas blinked at her and she nodded to someone else. Cas turned and there was Jack, one hand outstretched towards him. 


	11. One last shot

Dean hardly dared to breathe. He didn’t know how much time had passed, lost in a fury of trying to get to this moment. This was their hail Mary, the last shot they had. He’d come up short, _failing again._ If this fell through he might have to admit that he’d lost Cas forever. 

That wasn’t something he thought he could do. 

Next to him, Sam and Eileen were holding hands so tight that if Dean had glanced over he would have seen matching sets of white knuckles. But all he could focus on was where Jack had just been. 


	12. Until we meet again

Jack had smiled and Cas hadn’t questioned him, taking his hand before the Empty could change her mind and keep him trapped there forever. 

There was a rush, as if reality was reshaping around a set of wings and then solid ground. A familiar room. He could vaguely tell how much time had passed because of the changes in his surroundings. Books were stacked around the table in front of him, crumbled pieces of paper thrown around, useless ideas that would never have worked. 

Sam and Eileen were there, grinning weepily at him. And then his eyes found him. _Dean._


	13. No more hesitating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ writers, see it's not so hard to do some random hand waving, some ritual or spell and bring people back. You've only done it for 15 years. From hereonin it's pretty much just fluff and happiness because it's what all the Winchesters deserve

If he hadn’t moved forward when he did, his knees would have buckled immediately and he might have just collapsed where he was. Instead he half ran forward, making it to Cas before his knees gave in. 

He wrapped Cas in his arms, holding him tight against his chest. He could feel Cas’s arms slowly wrap themselves around him, holding him back just as tightly. Dean wasn’t sure which one of them was shaking the most but Cas was here, Cas was home, Cas was back where he damn well belonged and that was all that mattered. Cas was back. 


	14. Happiness isn't just in the being

He had said that happiness was just in the being, in finally fashioning his emotions into the words that had been known as long as there had been humans. 

He realised now, he had been wrong. 

Happiness wasn’t just in saying it. It was here, being held by Dean and knowing that he would do everything in his power to make sure that they were never separated ever again. 

Happiness was grabbing what you wanted with both hands and refusing to let go. 

Happiness was winning. It was getting to the end of the book to find a happy ending. 


	15. Home

Eventually, Dean let Cas go. Only so far so that he could hug Sam and Eileen, letting them welcome him home too. Dean’s eyes followed his every move, still scared that if he blinked that Cas would suddenly disappear. 

As if sensing his thoughts, Jack placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder, reassuring him. “The Empty is asleep now.”

“And that means?” Dean asked, still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“That means that I’m not going anywhere,” Cas said, coming over and taking his hand. Dean looked down at their clasped hands, and it feltlike _finally_ coming home.


	16. The Son

Jack smiled, the well worn grin that made them all fall in love with him in the first place. Peace had finally reached the Winchesters, the one place on Earth where it had never fully settled. He could feel the shift in the air, the calm that was finally restored. 

The family, his family, was no longer broken. His work was done here. 

He turned, ready to fade out of the picture and leave again. But he found himself wrapped in a hug, two parents holding him tight, thanking him with more than words. Maybe he could stay a while. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A happy family with a happy ending, was that too much to ask for?


	17. Family

They convinced Jack to stay for at least one meal. He was flighty, eager to get back into the world and be who the world needed him to be, but right now four Winchesters looked at him and he knew who he needed to be for a bit. 

Amara nudged him in his mind and Sam smiled gently, and he stayed. He was a Winchester, after all, and it wouldn’t be a proper reunion if he left so early. 

He stayed and they ate, laughing so much they chased away their grief as if it had never even been there. 


	18. Happy endings

Eileen snuggled into Sam’s side, occasionally stealing bites of food off of his plate as if hers wasn’t full. 

Jack sat in his old seat, feeling at ease in his body, feeling like himself again, the person he still was deep down. 

Sam pressed soft kisses to Eileen’s forehead everytime she stole from his plate, watching his brother finally let himself be happy.

Cas laughed and smiled, feeling more alive than he had ever before. 

Dean looked around and found the peace that he had always been looking for, sitting next to him and not letting go of his hand. 


	19. Confession

Jack left with a promise to actually come home every now and again. Sam and Eileen hugged Cas again, before they headed off to bed. Sam caught Dean’s eye and that was all he needed. 

“So… you’re back.” Hesitating, again. 

“Yes.” That smile was too trusting, too hopeful, too blinding beautiful.

“And what you said before?” 

“I meant it.” Of course, as if that had been in doubt. 

“How long?” 

“Always.” 

“Right.” No more time to be scared to go after what he wanted. “And Cas?”

“Yes?” That smile again, waiting, more patient than he deserved. 

“I love you too.”


	20. Yearning

The thing with deciding that you will never be allowed to get what you want, is that when you’re told that you can have it, you almost don’t believe it. 

But if Cas believed in just one thing, he believed in Dean. 

The words came, an edge of hesitation brushed aside in favour of confidence in the truth. 

Cas had been wrong about many things before. 

But realising that Dean did love him back was something that he could never be upset about. 

When Dean’s lips pressed against his own, Cas finally understood exactly how much _more_ happiness could be. 


	21. An idiot in love

Dean Winchester was many things. He was the Righteous Man, the Michael sword, daddy’s blunt instrument, a Knight of Hell, the man who defied Death. He’d had many titles, for better or for worse but none of them defined him. 

This here, this was the only definition that mattered. He could finally be the person he’d been hiding for years, finally _breathe_ the way he had always been needed to.

He’d just never realised how badly he was suffocating before. 

Sure, Cas was lost before he had found Dean in Hell, but Dean was finally _found,_ at peace with himself. 


	22. Adjustment

They fell into routine, slipped into it easily. They’d wake up with sleepy morning kisses; still unbelieving of the fact that they got to wake up together every morning. 

Feed the dog, have breakfast, Sam and Eileen already cooking by the time they lumbered into the kitchen, Dean reaching for the toast the second it popped, always too hot to be touched, and always reaching for the comfort of Cas’s hand a second later. 

They still hunted, still had a job to do. The world never stopped turning. Just now, they turned with it, revelling in the freedom of choice. 


	23. Months

The months flew past, summer skies fading to autumn leaves that fell to make way for winter frost. The markings of change heralding each new month that they got to savour.

Subtle changes inside were all that changed. Blankets rescued from cupboards became permanent fixtures on sofas. A spool of fairy lights were found from somewhere and hung up with much exasperation and yelling at each other. 

Eileen taught Cas how to make gingerbread and the Bunker never seemed to stop smelling of it. They smiled at each other, the would-be outsiders who had found their heart and home there. 


	24. Something worth celebrating

They never had Christmas growing up. Always on the run, never settled in one place long enough to actually do something. If Dean managed to feed Sam at all, it was a good day. A normal Christmas just didn’t seem to be on the cards. 

Now some thirty odd years later, they had maybe the most normal Christmas they had ever had in their life. It was Eileen who insisted. They’d saved the world and no one had died in a while and it was worth celebrating that. 

So they celebrated. They held each other, smiled, ate, and were happy. 


	25. Miracle

In the darkness of the room, they held each other tight, almost acting on instinct from years of being scared of losing each other.

They weren’t going to lose each other anymore. 

In his sleep, Dean shifted and Cas snuggled back down on his chest. 

When he woke there would be time for the words, for soft kisses and even softer admissions of love. They were working on it, learning how to be together after denying it for years. 

It wasn't always easy but it was worth it. 

In the peace of sleep, they didn’t need words. They still knew. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end of my Christmas fic! Part hand waving fix it, and part a very deserved happy ending. I just wanted something soft and cute and I hope I was able to deliver on that. Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all who celebrate ❤


End file.
